This morning I was sitting at my dining room table and experiencing a mini meltdown. You know the type:
- Too many options for interesting work projects
- Too little direction as to what’s actually a priority
- Too many doubts about Being Successful™
- Too little self-kindness and forgiveness for being only human
I allowed myself a few pity tears before I turned inward and Tapped In to my guide, Nanna, to basically wail my tragic human existence story to her eternal ears. Unfair, I cried, and Difficult, and Scary! More tears. Some sniffles.
Her reply, as always, cut right through my bullhooey and called me out on my responsibility as a creator.
“You are in resistance again. You are seeking to control the things you cannot at the expense of abandoning the things you can. Get it together. Do your Work. And ask us to do the rest, to connect you with the people who need your medicine.”
I think I tried for a few piteous replies but, bless her heart, she never has any of that. Always loving, always butt-kicking, that’s my primary guardian guiding force in this lifetime. And goodness do I need her.
The unvarnished, transparent, slightly painful truth of the matter is: I wish I was bigger. I wish I had a larger business. I wish I had more customers. I wish I was selling and creating more jewelry. I wish I was doing more readings for people. I wish… and I don’t focus on what I do have, right now.
This year I have become a much bigger person; I finally admitted to myself who I am and what I do, and it’s now the core of my business, which has grown more this year than I generally realize. Every customer I work with is the perfect, ideal customer. The jewelry I create is gorgeous and infused with amazing energy. The intuitive readings I do for people are accurate, spot on, and deeply helpful for the recipients.
Sometimes, everything we desire is coming true for us, and in our human rush to be awesome, we overlook the good of the moment for the desired amazing of the future. For a minute there, I thought I might even be writing this blog as a sort of penance for falling into this trap. But it’s not penance, it’s a desire to share from the heart, to say, “Look, it happens to me, it’s literally happening to me right now as I’m writing this. We’re all in this together.”
And we are. Those fears, those doubts, those self-questioning moments where you feel like it will never pan out… we all have them. You are not alone.
Part of my work as an Intuitive Artist is to sometimes put down the materials and just do the pure Intuition part of the equation. If you’re feeling lost, and looking for some guidance, please know I am here. I read Tarot and Oracle Cards. I throw the Futhark Runes. I channel guides and divine messages. These are all paths to insight and don’t hesitate to ask me questions or schedule a session. Because this isn't a sales pitch - it's just what I do. And I am here to help.